Healthy tips for millennials in a 21st Century Relationship

With technology and social media at the center of our universe, it can really get in the way of our personal relationships, but we don’t have to let it! I am in no way a relationship guru or know it all, and I don’t ever want to claim to be.  These are just some helpful hints people have told me and I have read that have really added meaning and helped mine and kyles relationship and I think we could all benefit from outside perspectives! 

1. DONT internet stalk. Now I loooove insta creeping as much as the next girl, if not more, seriously my skills are scary.  But in my experience it is NEVER beneficial to stalk your boyfriends ex girlfriends.  The only thoughts or conclusions that ever come of it, is the conclusion that damn, they are all beautiful.  Then if you are a normal person, the insecurties come flooding, or you get angry at him for his past and paranoid…. NOT GOOD!  The past is the past and you have to remember that he is currently with you for a reason, and all those beautiful girls’ selfies you’re looking at, are in his past for a reason.  It also helps to remember that you have a past too, and it makes me laugh imagining kyle looking at my ex boyfriends and having the dark thoughts i do because I am so obsessed with him he would never have anything to worry about with any of my exes. And Im sure your man feels the same way!
2. Keep your phones away on dates.  I know this is a hard one but nothing irks me more when I am serving, or out and about and I see people at the table, all on their phones!!! Not looking at each other, not talking, seriously on their phones even when they're eating!  It is so ridiculous now a days, and honestly I don't want to sound like some self riteous hippy.  I am so addicted to instagram its really sickening. Seriously, I will close it, read an email, and open it again and nothings changed! It is awful, I also am obsessed with checking my email, that is my first move when I unlock my phone, and I get notifications, like Jordan nothing has changed you would know. But anyway, me and Kyle really make it an objective to keep our phones away on dinner dates or movie theatre dates, and it really feels like a first date all over again I LOVE IT!  I love dating him lol.  We went to a new italian place last friday, I left my phone in the car I don't know where he put his, but we talked the entire time the waitress had to come back 3 times and we hadn't looked at the menu yet! It could've been embarrassing or annoying but we really were enjoying each others company so much talking about our days, and the future, and the food, and everything!  I really feel so grateful that we can put each other first for those special times.
3. Read in bed instead of watch tv.  This advice I actually got from a magazine and I really enjoy it.  There is something so intimate, and “old fashioned" about reading a good book, and even if you and your partner are reading different books, the pure act of doing it together and exercising your mind is so beautiful.  Me and Kyle have read next to each other and it made us feel so good about ourselves and we really bonded telling each other about our books and doing an activity as we lay next to each other, rather than mindlessly watch a show one person might not even be enjoying as much as the other.  This way you both enjoy something personal, while doing it together.
4. Cook Together.  Cooking can also be a really intimate activity.  When you cook with your partner, you are working together to create something you both can enjoy.  Cooking is also an investment you can make in yourselves, learning to cook can help your economical future, and it is a skill that can be enhanced.(Kyle actually gave me this hint, he read it in Forbes hehe)  The bonding that Kyle and I do is so pure when we try a new recipe together, we talk, we laugh, we play our favorite songs in the background, and really enjoy the time we are spending and it is so beneficial.  And we LOOVE the compliments we get when our meal tastes good.  Seriously, we eat it up lol.
5. Go on walks.  Me and Kyle really need to do this more, but we went on one sunday stroll together at our local reservoir and it was so calming and peaceful.  We talked a little, with no outside technology getting in the way, but we were also very calmly coming together.  A lot of couples and families say walking together allows them to physically bond and come closer together, even if they say nothing.  I truly believe this! Any activity you can do together that betters yourselves will really help your relationship come together, I really wish me and Kyle did this more.
6. Have a bedtime for your phones.  Me and kyle are soo bad at this and I really want us to make an effort to change it.  Have you ever been laying in bed next to your partner and realized you haven’t talked in a half hour because you both have been mindlessly staring at god knows what on your phone?!?  Seriously, I am so guilty of it and it is SO annoying that we are addicted to our phones, social media, and literally just tapping on whatever we can.  Sometimes I am on instagram or snapchat just scrolling through things I really don’t care about and I get so mad at myself for wasting all of that time!!! My suggestion, and something we have talked about but haven’t held ourselves too accountable, is putting your phone completely away at a certain time.  Me and Kyle go to bed relatively early so ours would be 9:00 so we can spend at least an hour fully engaged on real life, and each other.  

These are just a few things I have found that make me and Kyle really great together.  I love learning and growing with him by my side and really feel that we are in a healthy relationship because of our efforts in these areas.  We have so much room to grow though which really excites me!  I would love to hear more relationship tips for our Millenial state of minds!  Happy Wednesday!

XOXO JC21